Feeling the Missing........

The stone in my heart has just started to become lighter and lighter that suddenly, it feels so damn heavy with the approaching date for me to leave the place which i couldn't find any reason to love in the beginning. It has now unexpectedly encircled me warmth of it's hidden beauty. The nectar of joy just poured on the buds of my tongue that now i have the letter on my hand which is asking me that i no longer belong here.

The extreme struggle of not being able to adjust in Mongar forced me to put for a transfer. I accepted the challenge for not being spoon fed and learn through hardship, the way to grab independence for the first 4 months of 2016 but soon my pillar of holding on just broke and finally i sealed my sign on to the transfer application.I desperately wanted to leave the place at that moment.

I don't remember how the time sped forward bullet fast after that because, soon i saw my mundane face turning into contentment day after day, my lips curving into smile weeks after weeks and my mind getting cleared months after months. I saw myself surrounded with new set of friends who wouldn't go hangout without me, who would make me into a crazy laughing buddha when being accompanied by them, and pasted unfathomable polarized memories into the 2016 album of my life.

Tshering, Chimi, Tashi, Lg boss, my immediate neighbours whom i was reluctantly avoiding them for the 1st few months being a stranger. Well, fate played its sweet melody without our knowledge. We became the squad for doing crazy stuffs thereafter disturbing the other neighbours time and again with our undiscovered alien voices, dancing, having meals together daily like a family.

Soon, a new member, Sither joined and she was the queen of all crazy, funny, psychic but of all, the kindest. Only after few gatherings, did we come to know how she, herself was drowning into the ocean of depression and sadness that she still mentions,," You all pulled me out of the dark ocean into which i was almost neck down". Her personal life was a living hell that, we came to her life as a saviour and i am sure, the almighty planned so. We all believe so and will keep doing so.

As the year 2016 was nearing end, and as the tide of time went flying, we were soon introduced to same flock of psychic friends. Common factor being Tshering, we came to know Sampa, Bir, Jigme, Dorji, Sangay, which was a 1:1 match for our group.

My 1 melancholy life in Mongar became 10 strong band of happiness by the end of the year.
 It was in the mid of sipping the juice of Mongar's beauty with my squads that i was ringed to inform my transfer to Thimphu has been approved. THUD!!!! I completely forgot i even applied for transfer.

I almost jumped with joy but WAIT!. The excitement for approval was short lived; only for few seconds. I saw the laughing, smiling faces of my friends there and to my surprise, i felt the pinch of sadness for having to leave them at once. How the samsaric life of human play games with the emotions. I am always reminded, "Nothing is Permanent". To one point, i almost had the urge to cancel but there, i got a call from my mom how happy she was with me coming to be near her. She has been ill for a very long time with an unknown disease and she almost told how she wanted me, her son who is working in hospital wants to be with me.

Priority always to my parents. I now accept the gamble of Khorwa. It has always been difficult for me to accept the fact of departing with my loved ones. But, i optimistically believe what ever happened, it happened good. You leave your friends here, you have your old set of friends anxiously waiting there; the colleagues here are left out but your new staffs there have decorated door for welcoming me. Change is inevitable. Let me munch it up.

World isn't large and now with the technology reaching peak of standardization, you always bump to each other. I thank almighty for letting them come into my life even it was for a short duration of time. I will miss you all. Mongar was all beautiful because of you all!.

As the 1st page of 2017 opens......

The icy air of Thrumshingla and Korila passes, swinging in through the  woods of alpine vegetation, dancing along the shoots of giant bamboo, catching the attention of breath compressed into the slope of habitation, it swings and it swings, finally to kiss the cold, apple red cheeks of the 2 legged walking animals cooped inside the fur of thick enclosure, all encircling the red rods generating flame of warm pleasure.

...... (WINTER HAS FINALLY COME!), at least here if not in Game of thrones even after the sequel 7th.

Did my poietic beginning impress you all??? Please say so even if not!. I am very much guilty of leaving out my blog barren for one whole year. 2016 was an exciting event for me as i was recruited in civil service and  yet, stressful with many things happening around me which was completely new for me. Trying to adjust in east for someone who was born and brought up in the streets of capital with parents above all decision and when suddenly being plunged into the ocean of independence,  it turned out to be a very challenging experience.

There were times where i felt completely lonely and yet, slowly i learned to love the company of my own. i enjoyed spending time with myself. I used to go for walk, close my eyes and feel the air kissing me, listen to the birds and insects chirping and get aware with what's happening with the world we usually ignore. I rejoiced waking up early and feel the rays of sun rise and hug the warmth it gives. And now, in winter, the season i always cherish, i love letting the chill air enter the system of my lungs, the IN and OUT  process of breathing icy air is just amazing.

The joy of social bond with the network of people all including co-workers, neighbours, shopkeepers, bar tenders, karaoke, hangouts and our closest knit of friends with which i made so many memories within this period of time was invaluably one of the best. The love, care and respect i received being myself all independently was a total blessing in disguise. I never expected it to be so but time does heal everything and for me, it was all about learning to built pillars for the foundation of my future life.

2017  made its entry and is already 4 days old. It seems a very long journey but 2016 was the fastest year for me. I wonder if any body felt so. I hope to scribble the pages of 2017 with more fun, more exploring and more productive. And not to forget, attend my blog and keep updated hitting highest record of blog post so far compared to past years.

I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR! and be regular to visit my blog. I promise to keep updated without fail. I failed with my first post of 2016 but it will not be repeated this year because, this year is my year. Yes!,  i already completed 2nd cycle of 12th year of life. Wish me a wonderful 24th.

....Anyone, if you could help me re-design my blog in a more bright, yet a simple outlook.....

Hibernating Blogger Comeback

I feel dumb and mute for a moment when i write this post, being guilty at the most and making useless excuses to myself for not being able to provide air of literature to my blog for these long months.

My last post was on August 2015 and i went on an hibernating excuse for 5  months. But one thing kept me very busy for sure, the most important task of every student when they complete their degree, especially the Bhutanese .i.e. RCSE.
From the 1st day of your school where you shit on your shorts for being too afraid to ask your teacher for a recess grant, the time where you get thrashed hard on the palm from your Dzongkha Lopen for spelling wrong, your Geography madam rolling the floor globes to explain the concept of day and night, brain wracking theories and derivations of Physics and one question of differentiation and integration of maths covering up whole of you long notebook, getting a cross remark from your strict teacher; till the time where you walk carrying thick textbooks appearing to be a medical student for 4 long years in college. The journey of learning ABC to the knowledge of current profession, the fate of almost all Bhutanese student is all sealed upon on one exam, RCSE. High expectations from your parents push oneself to give their best because all your parents want is our secure future and RCSE gives you that. I too saw my parents sweat all those years to give me the best education possible and if i could see tears of happiness when i make it through, then i wouldn't have wanted anything else.

By God's grace and through my own determination, i broke through that barrier and nothing could give me joy more than seeing ocean of happiness in their eyes on 9th of December. I couldn't resist but scribble a long paragraph of gratitude to all those who helped me through the journey of that success and especially to my beloved parents.  

I desperately wanted to get placed in the capital for my parents were there but guess what! I didn't. I put faith in god consoling myself for i believe, "whatever happens, it happens for a good" and kick started my journey towards the eastern Bhutan. I grew up playing in the dusty sands of Thimphu and now, i knew my career adulthood was fixed in Mongar. Everything has a reason and i hope there is a big chunk of reason for i was flown  farthest away from west to extreme east. "Impermanence", once again stroke my mind when i had to wave good bye to my family and relative. A huge challenge lay ahead of me. I was moving into a place where i knew no one, i had no relative, nor friends and i am still struggling to fit myself in.

It had been the longest one month of my life.With some connection from my relative and a friend, i managed a small one room quarter. I had my Father accompanied for one week and setting myself well, i had to see him off as well. After that, the only sound i could hear in my home was my own breath. I would doze off time to time only to wake up and stare at the blank wall. I used to take a stroll around Mongar town and would be back home withing 30 minutes, yes! that was the size of the town.

 I understand that everything takes time and i am sure, i will feel better. I already started to feel so. I am removing every bits of opportunity for the crazy mind to wander around. Many a times, i have heard and read about the challenges people face during their first time venture into a journey unknown and i know, the time has knocked on my door now. Before at home, i didn't have to bother if the sugar bottle was getting empty nor i had to worry if the rice was finishing but now, as the month ends, i see myself getting concerned for those things that usually my parents did. I am learning to be independent and i see myself growing mentally in terms of handling the real life situations.

Well, i thought to cover up with few excuses(hehe) why my blog was lost but landed up writing about my first time experience into the new phase of my life. But, i think all those in my thoughts hooked me and seized my hands for a very long moment. I will not dissappoint myself or others anymore and keep the update for i got lots of things to write and share about. So, please keep visiting my blog.

Listening to Chetan Bhagat....

Through the majestic entrance of the only 5 star Hotel in our country, the mountain echoe festival attracted many writer, author, poet and the passionate amateurs inside the TAJ Tashi for the 3^rd and final day. But the special thing about attending the 3^rd day festival was, almost everyone was there especially to listen to the Indian wizard behind all the novels which has been successfully adapted into blockbuster bollywood movies and yes!, I was also there eagerly waiting for his turn to come up, Mr. Chetan Bhagat.

As I strolled slowly through the corridor down the stairs, there was an  epic display of wonderful photographs of Birds of Bhutan. Down I went, to my right, gigantic glass windows displayed an impeccably beautiful garden view with people sipping coffees and having their hi, hello talks. I was having trouble locating the hall. As I turned left, there were two dark, black giant doors, one in the middle of the corridor and another towards the end. It seemed locked and nobody seem to going in or coming out. Hesitantly, I pushed the end door with some force assuming it to be heavy but no effort was needed. The door spread open leading me finally to the hall. There were people all seated with chairs all occupied and their eyes fixed up straight to the stage where Mr. Yeshey Dorji was having conversation with Bahar Dutt. Then,  did I come to know the amazing art of bird’s photography displayed outside was the work of the man on the stage. AMAZING!

Luckily, a boy nearby left the seat and immediately I pounced upon it. It was a melodious feeling to be listening to the sound of birds chirping and singing,  being played through the projector with the pictures on the screen. The hall was cozy with AC on and the lanterns arranged beautifully on the wheel hanging on the ceiling was an exotic view.

couldn't help but to take picture of this shiny lanterns.....

Next, Her Royal Queen Mother Ashi Sangay Choden Wangchuk launched the Book “MARG: Arts Of Bhutan” followed by the conversation between Monisha Ahmed, Yeshey Dorji and Azha Karma.

It was then 1:40 p.m.  Chetan Bhagat was to be in, anytime. All were gathered inside with every little space occupied, even with some standing and craning their neck to see him enter. I got my seat right in the middle. We were all anxiously waiting for him to enter through the door. Few men in gho came in and walked right up to the stage. I didn’t give any notice to those man in gho but instead kept my eyes fixed to the door to see a man with a suit  to enter in when I finally turned my head and  gave a proper look to the two man on the stage. Damn! One of them was Chetan Bhagat dressed in gho. Most of us got surprised to see him that way. He seemed quite uncomfortable in the Bhutanese attire and his joke about the feeling of wearing a skirt with winds blowing in gave a pretty strong crack of laughter from the audience.

Tshewang Dendup had a good amount of questions for him and the audience were all waiting for their turn. Chetan shared his concerns for the atrocities surrounding the Indian population because of pollutions, corruptions and for the young youths battling against the race of modern era. He told us about what it is to be a Chetan in India and how the challenge of doing something which he feared like joining  as a judge in “Nach Baleyeh” dancing show has given him a new strength. It was a fun 30 minutes to listen to his talks with humorous crack of jokes  time to time.

and thats kamal struggling to get a snap!!hehe.

When the floor was opened for questions, the audience battled raising their hands to ask their share of why and what. My friend Kamal, sitting right next to me asked him how he came about with his first book hitting the market with tremendous success and with what magic formula. He said it was his perseverance to keep on trying and never giving up. Like him, there were small school children of age 8 -10 and he was proud to see young hands asking him many questions.

The session ended so quick. Kamal had a letter written for him and both of us ran after him as soon he left the hall. There were people gathered around him getting their books signed. We fought in and tried to take a picture as well. With a bit of struggle, I managed to get a quick photo with him. Hope the writer enjoyed speaking on  the mountainous land of thunder dragon though it was for a short duration of time. And I hope the experience he had attracts him back here once again, next time for a longer conversation.

yeah! poor boy...so sad...could manage only that much....:D

I stayed for sometime listening to “Dancing Earth”, conversations between the poets from two mountainous native places. Mr.Ngangom and Ms.Janice Patriat from north eastern state of India recited their poems with Dipika chetri from Bhutan giving in hers.

Attending the mountain echoe literary festival was an inspiring experience for me. To see great writers having talks about their book, poems proudly infront of the their readers gave me a kick of encouragement to also see myself one day speaking on the same platform. Moreover I was proud to see many Bhutanese writers weighing on and on with the writers from outside. Despite the fact that the book market in our country is very low, it was a pride feeling to know that our writers aren’t any less than any of the writer from India or any other country. I look forward to attending many such events and in each step, pour in more and more lessons or knowledge inside me.

I finally heard the mountain echoe........

Veiling off in through the large curtain, there came our Aditee from “Yeh Jawanee hai Deewani”, dressed casually in a simple pant and a white micky mouse T- shirt with a lose blonde hair dangling behind her head to talk about “GIRL and WOMEN” inside the hall  filled with echoes of the mountain. The dark  RUB hall saw the audience watching the actress perform her act of voicing on behalf of women with enraptured admiration. 

 “Fair by skin but brown in heart”, is how the Kalki Koechlin describes herself which I witnessed  in one of her interview. Parents are both French but whole of her transformation from a child to an adult had a strong Indian culture influence and she is more of a brown Indian than a fair French.

“Sometimes, it’s hard just to breathe”. Oh well! Her act was wonderful, so was herself in real. Indeed an actor. I almost thought she really was screaming at us, all men!  Well, 1^st day of Mountain echo in RUB wrapped up with the actress sprinkling light on the already existing women issue of the century.

Patrick French and Nayanjot Lahiri had their conversation on the Art of biography backed up with a sky, cloudy background and warmed up with questions from the audience.

Writing and reading enthusiast from the plains of India and the mountains of Bhutan being brought under one roof by the platform “mountain echoes” had them their energy further boosted up along with young amateur like me  getting kicked up for more motivation.

School children fired innocent questions to the poets and the authors sitting on the couch in Tarayana centre. I was just in time to listen to Guru Tshering Ladakhi  and Abhay’s  first flight inside the poetic world. A magical world of literature has brought all young and old together and it was amazing to witness all inside the hall enjoying the joyous moment.

My zest of excitement has bubbled up to the peak to watch the magician behind the pages of “five point someone”, “one night at the call centre”, “ 3 mistakes of my life”, “revolution 2020”, “2 states” and his first non fiction book “what  the young india wants”, Mr. Chetan Bhagat speaking live right infront of my eyes. I cannot wait to hear what “ Being Chetan” is like. Well, I would soon update my experience of listening to the astounding famous writer of India . Don’t forget to VISIT here once again!!:D

Prelims freaky Sunday

“You may start writing”, the examiner announced.

And the race for the entry into the civil service STAGE 1 kick started.  Whisper of papers flipping forward and backward was the only sound inside the tensed four walls of the room with graduates carefully shading the OMR sheet onto their respective choices, some well analyzed and some with mere luck.

Mine wasn’t any exception. Time was passing by as if being followed by a giant snake. My hands and fingers experienced an unexpected tremor of shake and I could hardly get the shading right without turning it into an apple or a mango at the beginning. I had the shading practiced at home several times because I pictured myself troubled while shading during the examination. Despite the practice, it did trouble me but I could gather myself back to normal gradually.

The two and half hour PE was an obscure moment which passed by like a dream, hardly being able to remember the questions nor the answers marked. With the type of questions given in the problem solving section and with the given amount of time, it is indeed a test of one’s aptitude ;to be able to solve as quickly as possible. Whether one has done it good or bad, one could hardly tell what would be the outcome. There is no such thing as half mark, nor marks for few of steps before the answer. It is solely and whole of “1 mark” if  the answer is right and “zero” if wrong and absolutely “zero” if not marked at all. People correcting would do a mistake, he may be bias, he may be compassionate, he may be rude but a machine carries non of that character. OMR will treat everyone TIT for TAT, right for right and wrong for wrong. And let me tell you, my heart is pounding like a balloon with water filled inside while I am writing this because, I am getting back the picture of the questions that I didn’t know, the moment I panicked and the blind shading that I did murmuring the god’s name because, the examiner would give no mercy of extra time.

After the sweat drenching two and half hour examination, the examinees flowed out of the classes like ants and formed groups to share one’s tragedy at the most and for some, it seemed a “ok” thing  and for few it was good. Then, almost all 3000 unemployed graduates including the in-service candidates were seen swirling around the main traffic of the Thimphu capital. I am sure, MOLHR could have completed half of their unemployment rate survey there itself without having to go door to door.

The 150 minutes inside the room is perhaps the most crucial moment of any Bhutanese graduate’s life. It is the visa for some to finally make their dreams of getting a government job true, thereby bringing proud smiles on the faces of their parents and loved ones and for some, would be just to hold on an independence status so that they would get a beautiful girl in the hand of marriage..(:D).

Almost two weeks for the results to be declared and for fourteen days, the BCSE 2015 candidates would have to give a forced sleep every night and be in dilemma till the miscible thoughts of water and milk is completely separated. I have my fingers completely crossed and HOPE is the only hope for me as for many others.  

Munching up the Inspirational Nectars.

“What ever we do, it’s just a drop in an ocean but if we do not do, the ocean will miss that one drop” Mother Teressa.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever” Mahatma Gandhi.

“Do more than exist- live

Do more than touch- feel

Do more than look-observe

Do more than read- absorb

Do more than hear-listen

Do more than listen- understand”: John H. Rhoades.

“Believe you can and you are halfway there”: Theodore Roosevelt.

“When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice”: Ancient Sanskrit saying.

“If a man is called to be streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michalangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music ,or shakespheare wrote poetry. He should sweep the streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well”: Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved”: William Jennings Bryan

“Before, I was clever, so I tried to change the people;Now I am wise, I try to change myself”:unknown

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build the door” :Milton Berle

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop”: Confucious