JUMBLE of crazy thoughts.

i was like.......before i started

Body extended, hands perfect, fingers typing smoothly, legs crossed comfortably, midnight passed few minutes before, but my heart awake at this late hour of 17th, too early for 18th. Room mate drenched into deep sleep, under the spell of OH, his body balance seized and bed is the only savior for his loose weight. I watched him lying still, various thoughts dancing inside my body hall, i ask my brain to make me dream. But he said, he can't until I scribble down on this very public diary what thought is pricking me and preventing me to stay alive even at 12:30 am.

Memories long passed away resurfaced again, carrying the thrones of unknown pain. Someone not to be known came to be known, something not to feel crept deep to be felt, the thing not supposed to be together couldn't be together, though together, never  forever.

Star of calmness is barely seen through my window but it reflected the rays of the moon, delivering the parcel of peace to keep me occupied while i am lost writing this very piece of densely confused thoughts. Questions are left unanswered in my brains but i scored full marks getting satisfaction of pouring  thick turbidity of mixed feelings out of this leather soft heart.

The sharp pin of sadness without reason has ran away and the anti-sadness pill presented to me by my inner urge to print the above crazy lines has worked without a scratch.
As the words above walked slowly to this end, within a second, protective layer of peacefulness kiss all over me, a great sense of hope grew and the mysterious injury has subsided kicking me to fall into sleep now.

the more i read, the more confused i get...

I am       healed to   such   an   extend that   i am now , of no capability   to scribble         anymore useless stuff and my   writing pace       has    also   decreased that i   am   not able to   make out   how much space bar to be pressed making it look all broken now , so i apologize my readers for making it      confusing like the baby  in the   picture and wasting your time to make     you go through   without     making  any sense.

I am sleeping now....GOOD NIGHT  ...and good morning, if you have already woken up!!!!

however you guys are just now i don't know, but i am like...hmmmm..!!

If I Were SHE...

"I am just 23 years old. I was a student still studying and had got dreams to be fulfilled and still more to dream. The white coat that i was wearing was not to let people assume that i am a proud doctor, it was the dream of my heart, my parents to see me treating the patients and spread the purity of my heart  into them and make them capable of re-germinating their life. When you ever have a back pain, i would have been there to massage you, when ever your legs swelled, you would have seen me treating you with my own bare hands, when ever your mom or your father complained of body ache, i would have participated in exercising them to restore their fitness. There are lots of disabled people in our country, i would have made them get up on their feet and made them walk, giving them a new life.  BUT, before i could do any of this, you all made me experience the most terrible pain of my life and  made me myself lie handicapped on the bed of the place where i was supposed to treat you. For days,i was clinging between life and death. My breath fell short and i finally died." 

This is how i would have felt being in the shoe of the Delhi gang rape victim, the girl who was a physiotherapy student. Like any other young teenager, she would have also had dreams and hopes to be fulfilled, to make her parents proud of her and spent her life with happiness. BUT her happiness was short lived and she died after being brutally raped by six boys and assaulting her with an iron rod. She stayed in a state hanging between life and death in the hospital bed for few days after the incident and soon died as her body was totally into shock and so was her eye muscles to weak to open because all her organs failed to work. How can i body work when her mind is completely lost. She would have never imagined that this kind of thing would even happen to her. 

Whole world is disturbed by this incident and all over the India, there are protest going on for the justice of the girl and  all the rapist to be penalized to death sentence. The Indian government is receiving  criticisms for not being able to protect a girl, that also in the capital city and every women is becoming violent, fire running in their eyes and hearts crying. Those Rapist should be punished for their sins. Hanging them to death also does not seem to be enough because the duration of pain is nothing compared to the pain that the girl went through. Death is a simple process if hanged but the continuous shock she received while being raped by those rapist in turn and when the iron rod was used, no one could imagine how painful that would have been.

Now ,she had already left us, we could do nothing but let us all  pray for the peace of her soul(R.I.P). May she be reborn to fulfill all those which was left unfulfilled and make her dreams come alive one day, And may those who ruined her,suffer even after death and get no place to breath even in hell!!!