JUMBLE of crazy thoughts.

i was like.......before i started

Body extended, hands perfect, fingers typing smoothly, legs crossed comfortably, midnight passed few minutes before, but my heart awake at this late hour of 17th, too early for 18th. Room mate drenched into deep sleep, under the spell of OH, his body balance seized and bed is the only savior for his loose weight. I watched him lying still, various thoughts dancing inside my body hall, i ask my brain to make me dream. But he said, he can't until I scribble down on this very public diary what thought is pricking me and preventing me to stay alive even at 12:30 am.

Memories long passed away resurfaced again, carrying the thrones of unknown pain. Someone not to be known came to be known, something not to feel crept deep to be felt, the thing not supposed to be together couldn't be together, though together, never  forever.

Star of calmness is barely seen through my window but it reflected the rays of the moon, delivering the parcel of peace to keep me occupied while i am lost writing this very piece of densely confused thoughts. Questions are left unanswered in my brains but i scored full marks getting satisfaction of pouring  thick turbidity of mixed feelings out of this leather soft heart.

The sharp pin of sadness without reason has ran away and the anti-sadness pill presented to me by my inner urge to print the above crazy lines has worked without a scratch.
As the words above walked slowly to this end, within a second, protective layer of peacefulness kiss all over me, a great sense of hope grew and the mysterious injury has subsided kicking me to fall into sleep now.

the more i read, the more confused i get...

I am       healed to   such   an   extend that   i am now , of no capability   to scribble         anymore useless stuff and my   writing pace       has    also   decreased that i   am   not able to   make out   how much space bar to be pressed making it look all broken now , so i apologize my readers for making it      confusing like the baby  in the   picture and wasting your time to make     you go through   without     making  any sense.

I am sleeping now....GOOD NIGHT  ...and good morning, if you have already woken up!!!!

however you guys are just now i don't know, but i am like...hmmmm..!!

If I Were SHE...

"I am just 23 years old. I was a student still studying and had got dreams to be fulfilled and still more to dream. The white coat that i was wearing was not to let people assume that i am a proud doctor, it was the dream of my heart, my parents to see me treating the patients and spread the purity of my heart  into them and make them capable of re-germinating their life. When you ever have a back pain, i would have been there to massage you, when ever your legs swelled, you would have seen me treating you with my own bare hands, when ever your mom or your father complained of body ache, i would have participated in exercising them to restore their fitness. There are lots of disabled people in our country, i would have made them get up on their feet and made them walk, giving them a new life.  BUT, before i could do any of this, you all made me experience the most terrible pain of my life and  made me myself lie handicapped on the bed of the place where i was supposed to treat you. For days,i was clinging between life and death. My breath fell short and i finally died." 

This is how i would have felt being in the shoe of the Delhi gang rape victim, the girl who was a physiotherapy student. Like any other young teenager, she would have also had dreams and hopes to be fulfilled, to make her parents proud of her and spent her life with happiness. BUT her happiness was short lived and she died after being brutally raped by six boys and assaulting her with an iron rod. She stayed in a state hanging between life and death in the hospital bed for few days after the incident and soon died as her body was totally into shock and so was her eye muscles to weak to open because all her organs failed to work. How can i body work when her mind is completely lost. She would have never imagined that this kind of thing would even happen to her. 

Whole world is disturbed by this incident and all over the India, there are protest going on for the justice of the girl and  all the rapist to be penalized to death sentence. The Indian government is receiving  criticisms for not being able to protect a girl, that also in the capital city and every women is becoming violent, fire running in their eyes and hearts crying. Those Rapist should be punished for their sins. Hanging them to death also does not seem to be enough because the duration of pain is nothing compared to the pain that the girl went through. Death is a simple process if hanged but the continuous shock she received while being raped by those rapist in turn and when the iron rod was used, no one could imagine how painful that would have been.

Now ,she had already left us, we could do nothing but let us all  pray for the peace of her soul(R.I.P). May she be reborn to fulfill all those which was left unfulfilled and make her dreams come alive one day, And may those who ruined her,suffer even after death and get no place to breath even in hell!!!

New Year Festivities

Only few hours are left for the clock to tick 12 and the very first second of 2013 will start. With that as the crackers shoot high up in the sky with the shinnings as done in most of the country, each and every one of us will also gather up our new beginning with new hopes and aims. everybody is excited about the new year ahead as we have just survived out of the 2012 world end predictions. No planet called Nebru clashed with our earth, no earthquake or any tsunamies came and nothing like fire balls fell from the sky. But instead we are  what we were, celebrating the christmas present gifted to us as 2013 year. Fortunately the false alarm of world end proved to be wrong and we are all the same, happy as ever.

Each and every one of us has got different plans to celebrate the moment. Generally, as for the young boys, they will go hunt down the best bar and sip of the last drop of wines and knockouts till they themselves are knocked down. And for girls, prepare their best dishes that they have inherited from their mother, gather up eating and soft drinks stuffs and enjoy in their own cute ways. For the elders, they mightl assemble in one of their friend's home with aras and bangchangs, along with some steps memorized to shake the floor after the wines have taken control of them and at  night  put their childrens in trap of forcing them to listen to their childhood stories of how they faced difficulties during their school times. hahaha......

As for me, i am participating in the Bhutanese gathering that we are going to organize tomorrow with the session of cutting a big cake to unite our body and mind for the fulfillment of the resolutions that we made for the coming year. Then, with some games and dancing programmes, we will wind up our day. I m so excited about it.
Lastly i wish all the people around the globe, A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL.
and may your journey ahead be blessed with fortunes and good lucks.
before i wind up my post....i have somthing for you guys...

Nam losar tsheloo tashi delek: to all my dear bhutanese people

Neya Saal Mubarak! : To our country mate, all Indians

Sawatt dee pee mweï.: to our thai friends.

Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu: to japanese collegues

Seh heh bok mahn ee bahd euh sae yo: to koreans


I think i will stop here because i am already tired of copy-pasting and searching for the right word to wish to all the people arounf the world. In short once more, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all.......enjoy!!!!

Day, long waited

I have been counting the days to go back to Bhutan since two months back when i knew our vacations will soon be starting right after the exam. But our exams got postponed twice and so did our vacations. Now that we are done with our exam, and the time for me to step the soil of Drugyul is nearing, i am very much excited but our luck again tricked us. We planned to reach Thimphu before 22nd of september so that on the day, we find our self sitting near a plate full of red rice with phaksha cikam, shakam hanging from the side of the plate and mouth watering ema datshi.....( my mouth is already watery....), to find myself joining my relatives in the age old traditional dance going round and round. Damn, our tickets didn't get confirm. Actually we had tickets for 16th but now we are coming on 23rd, but have to move from college tomorrow. We are neither going to be in our college atleast to celebrate with our friends nor will reach up there but it seems we will be spotted  in between somewhere in the streets of city of hyderabad. We have got no direct train and have to go through the railway station in hyderabad. We are supposed to land on Phuentsholing on 25th morning and if possible, soon after i am going to fled to Thimphu. 
So, guys, HAPPY BLESSED RAINY DAY and keep my share of enjoyment especially the food. Happy reading, readers and bloggers keep on blogging. Really enjoy the blogyul family. I am not very good in writing as of you guys but i want to keep trying and improve it as i am very much inspired. thank you.

HAPPY BLESSED RAINY DAY

Failed responsibility, lost of patience

Our college has collected a good amount of Bhutanese students this year. We were only 45 before but now that the new batch of students have also joined us, we are much more a big family. It has crossed seventy plus and now  has become form Bhutanese student association. Tomorrow on 19th, youths of Bhutan studying our college will all come together to have each other introduced, perform cultural program mes to make it memorable and celebrate blessed rainy day in advance. 
But a day before itself became memorable due to lost of patience. We were supposed to perform a welcome dance for our juniors. Our seniors were busy involved in organising the programme and as they were small in number, they asked the second year students(we) to set up a welcome dance. I was the only one who could dance quite well. Being a member of cultural group in school and with my interest involved, i took up the responsibilty to choreograph the song and came up with an entertainment. I selected a wonderful song sho sho by Ugyen Panday which related with the celebration and made the moves. I did all and finally went to ask my mates to join me. But, i got all the negative responses. Nobody were confident enough to cooperate with me. I explained them well that it was not a competition, only a part of fun and not necessary one  knew dancing like superstars. Everyone was reluctant  and afraid to become a joker near the new batch. However i could convince some of them and made them shake their body to some extend. I taught the moves and they could catch up quite well. Nothing more was needed. We reached almost into half the song and one more stanza was left to be completed that they started losing confidence and was getting irritated for they were really expecting themselves to dance like those of the partipants in Dance India Dance. Almost whole day i was making the moves and in the evening, i took my time to teach them. Some moves, i did modify to make it easier, actually much more simpler to make it work for them. But  nothing was going on as i expected. I got irritated, lost my patience and cancelled the programme. Welcome dance was gone from my side. I informed my seniors. But their understanding and urge for keep on going encouraged us  that i gained back my confidence and this time it was working much more smoothly and beautifully. Despite being busy with organising for the day, they took out time to convince us and even decided to dance with us. They substituted those who weren't willing to join back. They too didn't know how to dance but they instantly decided to join us to make us feel comfortable  and we could finally complete the song. We practiced hard and i could see their weariness hidden inside.
 I really thank my seniors for they really did something worth getting a huge applause. They woke the confidence in me and made it a goodnight sleep at last. I am quite ashamed and not happy for i gave up so easily. For now, i wish that the progammes go on well and the day become as memerable as this time also i expect something fruity.

Finally exams gone, time to say hello to Bhutan...

Today also i woke up with my heart beating so fast, my brain worried with incomplete theories stored in it with broken hands and legs, stared at the ceiling above for sometime and looked for my mobile to check the time. It was 5a.m. Time to freshen up and prepare yourself for the study again. 
Oh no! exams over, i finally realized. I imprinted myself a huge smile  and went back to sleep. I was actually gone used to waking at 5 because my brain was adapted to the time because of the past few days. my past few days were my most difficult but the one of my most sincere hardwork involved. This is the stage that every student passes through when they prepare for the examination at last minute.
It was a living hell for me to spend whole day and night with books. I dont remember being in tension ever as much as of those few weeks where i spent only around 3 hours sleeping. On the night before the last exam i stayed whole night and felt my eyes dancing in the morning. Even during meals i would think about the large portions that i am left to cover with and my heart would start bouncing hard time to time. And i know my friends have also gone  through the same phase because at the beginning all had gone through the same phase of procrastinating the study time table. 

But now, its all gone. The bouncing of heart, spending sleepless night and taking of coffee continuously without break at the middle of the night. I am so much of relaxed. Its been 5 days now since my last exam. That was really a very good lesson that i learned. Assuming it as being college life, i took my studies for granted and got paid of at last minute. No w that my exams are done, i am worried about the results which would soon be released after one month or so. 

BUT, the most happiest thing for me.What kept me excited about the time after exam was my vacation which i will soon be going back to my motherland, the land of thunder dragon. My nose had been missing the fresh air for one year now and is desperate to suck it hard through the green environment of Bhutan. My stomach has been begging for ema datshi and kewa datshi for some time now and now i can't deny them anymore. So,onnly few days are left for me and soon i will be found roaming the streets of Thimphu, inside one of the hotel in zangdopelri shopping complex area having bathup or may be in Tashi Chhodzong staring hard at the Bardo cham because i have planned to reach one day before the Thimphu tshechu begins. So, Bhutan, i am coming. Please wait for my arrival.

Silent weeping rose

Rose has been silent for days now. From a joyful, talking flower, he has returned back to his original silent nature. He feels abandoned, his other mates have used him during their happiness and he thinks he has been dumped by them when his need is not required now. As they started their journey together for the first time they passed their time making wonderful memories. All of them would dance, sing and do naughty things together. But by the passing of time he feels betrayed. May be he is right because his mates really didn't understand him well. His sweet fragrance attracted other mates at the beginning but towards the closer look, all were repelled by his sharp thrones along his long stem. All his mates may not be but some  are aware of it. Some could hear the Mr. air whisper the loneliness the Mr.rose was suffering from. They wish to lend their hand. BUT, there was always a but. Why but came in between, nobody knew but they had gone away from him for the betterment of both the lives. And its not justifiable how it was better that way. They just wanted to send a message through Mr.air that it was always the same and that he was good in every way just like his beautiful look,only the thing was others failed to understand him well.. Just as he says time has ruined it and it can never be back again.